Double Take: Daybeds

What the f*ck is this?

No, really.

If I wanted to have a f*cking nap I'd just stay at home and lie down in bed for free, rather than paying twenty-six f*cking dollars for it!

Look, I understand the logic behind the idea - make the front row seats more comfortable (you no longer have to break your neck to look up at the screen as I did last year while watching Deadpool 2) and therefore charge more for them. It also recreates the experience, I guess, of watching a movie in bed.

The problem is - no way people aren't going to fall asleep during the movie.

Picture this - it's dark, you're snuggled up in a comfy bed, lying on your back, it's 9:00 at night and slowly, surely, you feel yourself becoming sleepier...and sleepier...

Imagine watching a slow-paced, dialogue-heavy (or lite) film this way. I think Alfonso Cuarón's Roma is a goddamn masterpiece, but I'd probably fall asleep if I watched it this way. Ditto for Schindler's List, or either Godfather*. This is not the fault of those films - they were made to be viewed while sitting upright in a dark cinema (or living room, in Roma's case) with no distractions, allowing you to be completely immersed in the worlds they are creating. There's a reason why I watch slow-paced films sitting upright. We all have busy, tiring lives, and I don't want that to affect my experience of watching a fantastic film.

These 'Daybeds' are also a completely transparent business venture. Event Cinemas is a chain that is clearly fighting to remain relevant and successful in a streaming world. Just months ago they introduced another stupid idea called Boutique, in which cinemas are decorated in random ways to, I don't know, make the audience feel more sophisticated? Seeing Zombieland: Double Tap in a cinema made up to look like it was constructed in the 1920s certainly doesn't help your immersion in any way.

I mean, if this keeps them in business then fine. We don't need to lose another cinema chain. But maybe, instead of having a go at expensive and ill-fated experiments, they should tailor their cinemas to suit the needs of a modern cinephile and produce an experience that Netflix-and-chill simply cannot compete with.

*I've yet to see Part III so I can't comment on it's pacing. For all I know, it might be a rollercoaster action movie that ends with a massive shootout and a car chase.